Journey of Renewal – Unit Two: Change Your Perspective
Day Eight (September 14)
Working on Yourself
Learn to shout “mazal tov!”
What is the last thing we do at a Jewish wedding? It’s not breaking the glass! We shout ‘mazal tov!’ And we do it after breaking the glass for a reason. Breaking a glass is a minor annoyance. Compared to the ‘mazal tov’ excitement of a joyous wedding, the aggravation of breaking a glass is nothing. It’s as if we’re saying: “Don’t worry about that silly glass. You’re celebrating the love of your life! And you’re surrounded by family and friends full of joy. Who cares about the glass?”
To the bride and groom, it’s a reminder that in their relationship there are going to be ‘breaking the glass’ moments, times when they get irritated with each other over minor matters. At those moments, they should imagine their lives together as a continuous wedding celebration. That is, they should remember how much they love each other and all the good times they’ve shared with each other. Then they should shout ‘mazal tov’—as if to say, who cares about this minor annoyance when to compared to the happiness that I have?
And the same is true for us in many situations. We encounter a minor obstacle, and it darkens our day. At that moment, we forget how much we have, and we focus only on what is aggravating us. It’s a broken glass moment. We can train ourselves to shout ‘mazal tov’ at that moment as a way of reminding ourselves of the bigger picture and of how minor this obstacle is to us in the context of the larger happiness we have in our lives.
So, today, be aware of your ‘breaking the glass’ moments, the minor obstacles and annoyances that threaten to take over your mood. When they happen, shout ‘mazal tov’ and see if it lifts your spirits.
Tzedakah/Tikkun Olam
Emergency Services
- Magen David Adom (Israel)
In the United States, disaster, ambulance, and blood services are handled by an array of hospitals and organizations. In Israel, there’s one organization that does it all — Magen David Adom. Afmda.org
- United Hatzalah (Israel)
A community-based volunteer emergency medical services (EMS) organization committed to providing the fastest response to medical emergencies across Israel even prior the arrival of ambulances and completely free of charge. Israelrescue.org
Connecting Jewishly
Online Jewish learning: Mechon Hadar
Hadar is a Jewish learning institute in New York that offers a wide variety of self-directed online courses, including the option of studying with a partner. Go to https://www.projectzug.org/courses for more information, or browse the Hadar website for more options: hadar.org
Day Nine (September 15)
Working on Yourself
Resist Your Inner Haman
The Book of Esther tells a story of massive loss of perspective. The king has orderedeveryone in the Persian empire to bow to Haman. Everyone does except for Mordecai who is Jewish. It drives Haman crazy. It’s all he can think about day and night. He says to his wife Zeresh: “I have it all—power, wealth, glory. Everyone bows to me. The queen invites me and only me to a private party with the king. And all of this means nothing to me as long as I see Mordecai sitting in the king’s gate (and not bowing to me).”
For all of Haman’s honor, all he can focus on is the one person among millions who does not honor him. There is a little bit of Haman in each of us. Often, instead of focusing on all the blessings we have, we become obsessed with what is negative in our life. We train our attention on the broken glass and miss the joy of the wedding (see Day Eight).
Action
Today, notice when your Inner Haman takes over. Something minor irritates you and it ruins your day, causing you to forget about all the good in your life. This is particularly true when we feel that someone has not given us the respect we deserve:
- The waiter at the restaurant makes us wait too long
- Everyone at work likes us and respects us, but one person doesn’t give us the deference we think is our due.
- We’ve worked hard to create a good reputation for ourselves in the community. We’re well liked. But a new person who doesn’t know what we have contributed ignores us or treats us cavalierly.
You have certainly encountered your own examples! When you have a moment when you’re on the verge of losing perspective, remember Haman and how ridiculous he looked and how overblown his ego was. Laugh at yourself for being a little bit like him. Then remember all the good that is yours. And ask yourself whether all of this is really worth nothing because of this minor irritation.
Tzedakah/Tikkun Olam
Rehabilitation from Trauma
- Brothers for Life (Israel)
Brothers for Life is a non-profit organization, created and run by injured Israeli veterans, which gives critical and immediate help to other injured Israeli combat veterans who sacrificed their lives for the safety of the Jewish people. Brothersforlife.com
Connecting Jewishly
- Online Jewish learning: American Jewish University
- Experience the transformative power of knowledge with AJU’s captivating events. Our faculty and friends share their valuable insights, sparking thought-provoking discussions and engaging dialogue on Judaism in the 21st century and more! Check out the 197 available videos at https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuQSpWj-yF2TNQ0K7OPauBaMZuqGrzPjG
Day Ten (September 16)
Working on Yourself
Lech Lecha/Leave Your Comfort Zone
We are creatures of habit, and we naturally gravitate to what is most familiar and comfortable for us. But, if we want to grow, there are times we need to leave our own comfort zone. At the foundational moment of Jewish history, God tells Abraham: Lech lecha mei’artecha/leave your land. Literally, this was a command to go to a new place, Canaan, which ultimately became the Land of Israel.
But Rabbinic commentators broadened the meaning of ‘lech lecha.’ They said it means ‘leave your landedness.’ Land is associated with stability and habit. So, to grow, we need to intentionally de-stabilize ourselves.
In the mishna we are taught that a parent is required to teach his children three things: Torah, how to make a living, and how to swim. The first two involve concrete skills. But the last teaching is about a character trait which can be applied to any situation. We are not fish. Our natural habit is the land. To learn to swim is to learn to navigate in an unfamiliar environment. It is to develop the courage to literally and psychologically leave the ground beneath our feet.
Action
Try something you are not in the habit of doing. Start with something very small. Notice your resistance but persist.
- Do you have a favorite restaurant? Try a new one.
- When you go out to eat, do you choose the same dish because you know you like it? Try something new on the menu.
- Do you go to work the same way every day? Try a different route.
- Is there something you’ve been wanting to do, but inertia has stopped you? What have you been putting off simply because you’re not in the habit of doing it and it takes some initiative and psychological effort to make it happen?
- A trip you’ve been meaning to take? A person you’ve been meaning to call? A challenge at work you’ve been meaning to take on?
- Do you read opinions and listen to podcasts that reinforce your world view? Leave your echo chamber. Read or listen to a point of view that makes you uncomfortable. Have a conversation with someone you know disagrees with you on something of fundamental importance to you.
- Try something new on the menu in the restaurant you always go to
- Read fiction instead of non-fiction
- Make a list of things that you can change up in your life. Find a positive way to disrupt your routine.
Tzedakah/Tikkun Olam
Making a Difference in the Lives of Real People
- Ten Gav (Israel)
Ten Gav is an internet crowd-funding platform that matches donors to individuals and families with modest needs that have been submitted for backing by social services professionals in Israel. Since November 2014, our mission has been to provide direct access to personal giving opportunities to enable you to make a real difference in the lives of real people. tengav.org
Connecting Jewishly
Take the Simchat Torah Challenge
Each Simchat Torah, we complete the reading of the entire Torah, the Five Books of Moses. Each of us can do this on our own over the course of the year.
- Make a commitment to reading the weekly Torah portion in English. If you need help finding it, contact Rabbi Rosenbaum.
- Read one short essay of commentary on the parasha (2-3 pages). Here are three suggestions for sources:
- Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z’l has an online commentary on the weekly portion at this link: https://rabbisacks.org/covenant-conversation/5785/
- For each parasha, there are several short essays. Choose one. You may want to share it with your family at the shabbat table. Or just do it on your own. Rabbi Sacks’s essays on the Torah portion are also available in book form.
- Purchase a copy of Shai Held’s “The Heart of Torah,” and read one essay a week in conjunction with the weekly Torah portion.
- Rabbi Tali Adler of Mechon Hadar has a short dvar Torah on each parasha for the past year. They are beautiful! Go to this link: https://hadar.org/torah-tefillah/torah-portions (next year, a new scholar will give the weekly dvar Torah, but Rabbi Adler’s articles should still be accessible on the site)
- Rabbi Jonathan Sacks z’l has an online commentary on the weekly portion at this link: https://rabbisacks.org/covenant-conversation/5785/
Day Eleven (September 17)
Working on Yourself
Bechirah (Choice) Points
Bechirah in Hebrew means choice. Bechirah points is a term coined by the great Mussar teacher Eliyahu Dressler to describe what we uniquely struggle with morally. According to Alan Morinis in his book Everyday Holiness, Rabbi Dessler says that there is an inner battle line that is drawn precisely where choice is most alive for us, where we really could go either way with a decision. Here is how Morinis paraphrases Dessler:
To illustrate, he gives the example of two people who are very confirmed in their relationship to material goods. One is a professional thief, raised among thieves…This person has absolutely no inner struggle over whether or not to steal because that his established way of life. “For him, whether or not to steal does not present any bechirah (choice) at all,” says Rabbi Dessler…(But) if this thief were to be discovered in the midst of a robbery, would he shoot his way out? (and risk murdering someone) If that question would be a real struggle, then this would be one of his bechirah points.
The other person Rabbi Dessler cites is someone brought up in a good home with strong moral values. This person would not have the slightest temptation to steal a penny. (But, that does not mean) he or she has no bechirah point…while theft is not a real possibility here, (for this person) the bechirah point might refer to another relationship to property, like how much charity he or she gives, and whether giving is done generously and with a pleasant demeanor (Everyday Holiness, pgs. 22-23)
It’s possible to describe Morinis’s book as a guide to discover our bechirah (choice) points. He identifies eighteen character traits each of us has in varying degrees (e.g. truth, trust, generosity, order, equanimity, faith, generosity, etc). And he describes Mussar techniques for evaluating which aspects of our character are already strong, and where we struggle more. Once we identify our choice points, we can use mussar techniques to work on them. I recommend reading Morinis’ book in its entirety.
Reflection
- What are your bechirah points? What are moral values that are so ingrained in you that you experience no temptation to violate them at all? And where are the areas where you feel you have to consciously have to make an effort to make the right choice?
To take a very minor personal example, my doctor has told me I can’t drink coffee. I’ve gotten to the point where it’s no temptation for me. But I still struggle with temptation to overindulge in sweets. So, chocolate is a bechirah point for me!
- Choose a behavior that is morally challenging for you, where you know what is right, but you still struggle to make the right choice. See if you can break it down into small parts, so that it is not overwhelming to at least begin to change your behavior. Resolve to work on that behavior daily during the 40 days between the beginning of the month of Elul. The Morinis book might give you some ideas.
Tzedakah/Tikkun Olam
- AIPAC
AIPAC brings together Democrats and Republicans to advance the shared mission of building bipartisan support for the U.S.-Israel relationship. They support pro-Israel policies that strengthen and expand the U.S.-Israel relationship in ways that enhance the security of the United States and Israel.
- Stand With Us Northwest
StandWithUs Northwest is dedicated to promoting greater understanding and support for Israel in the Pacific Northwest, passionate in its commitment to a Jewish, democratic and secure Israel living in peace with its neighbors.
StandWithUs Northwest differs from other pro-Israel Jewish organizations in focusing entirely on one cause: Israel education and advocacy here in our Northwest community. Standwithus.com/northwest
Connecting Jewishly
Habein Yakir Li and the Malavsky Family Choir:
I am smitten with the Malavsky Family’s classic version of “Habein Yakir Li” from the Rosh Hashana musaf service. As you can hear, it has a groovy ostinato that lends itself to congregational participation. Here is the Malavskys’ original recording:
Here is another recording of the same piece as performed by Zamir youth choral of Kfar Saba: https://youtu.be/_xTHGE1PGpY?feature=shared
For more of the Malavksy’s music check out this vintage video clip of them performing K’vakarat from the Untaneh Tokef section of musaf for the High Holiday: https://youtu.be/cNmq5NlBwEc?feature=shared
Day Twelve (September 18)
Working on Yourself
Steal the Afikoman/Learn to Value Disruption
We, the Jewish people, have often wondered at the irony of the words “Passover Seder”? Why is it that our quintessential holiday of freedom is marked by so many restrictions and such a rigorous order? Order is an important component of freedom. God creates the world in a particular sequence. That sequence is evidence of God’s deliberate intention and choice. But excessive order can also be the enemy of freedom. So, the hyper-order of the Seder sets up a compelling moment—the stealing of the Afikoman.
In the middle of all this order, a rambunctious child bursts in, kidnaps the Afikoman, and holds up the entire Seder until it is ransomed. And we reward this disruptive behavior!
The Afikoman Moment is a reminder to us of the value of disruption. Abraham and Moses were major disruptors. Abraham upended humanity’s addiction to paganism. Moses disturbed the oppressive stability of Egypt. Egypt’s remarkably stable dynasties and the stone continuity but rigidity of the pyramids remind us that what rarely changes may offer comfort to some, but to others reinforces a rigidly oppressive caste system.
So, yes, God created order out of chaos. But the Siddur tells us in the weekday service that God continually re-creates the world each day. If we want to create a new, we have to risk the chaos of disruption.
Reflection
- When in your life does your insistence on order get in the way of openness to the new, the spontaneous?
- At a critical moment in his life Jacob lies down at night in a strange place and dreams of a ladder to Heaven with angels ascending and descending. He awakens, shaken, and declares: Alas, God is in this place, and I didn’t even know! For Jacob, personal renewal took the form of being taken by surprise—encountering something unexpected.
- What has happened in your lifetime that you did not expect? What was the impact on you?
- What have you learned in life that you didn’t expect to learn, that you didn’t think you needed to learn?
- What are the various ways, large and small, that you have experienced interruption?
- How have you handled the interruption?
- In retrospect, was there anything positive in this interruption?
- What are the happy experiences in our lives that could be thought of as interruptions?
- Are you leaving enough room for the unexpected in your life? Can you do better?
- Can you think of a time or experience that something unexpected delighted you or enriched your life in some way?
- Is there a way of increasing that experience in your life?
- What are the potential Afikoman Moments in your life? What rules do you believe you should occasionally break?
- Can you think of a time or experience that something unexpected delighted you or enriched your life in some way?
- The Torah says God took the Jewish people ‘mitachat sivlot mitzrayim/from under the burden of Egypt.’ One rabbi comments: God took us mitachat savlanut mitzrayim/away from too much patience with our slavery. That is, for too long we accepted a dysfunctional way of living.
- When has the Jewish people made a big move to disrupt their way of life because the status quo was so intolerable?
- What entrenched patterns in the world today or ways of thinking need to be disrupted? What bad habits of behavior and thought have we gotten too used to?
- How might we disrupt them?
Tzedakah/Tikkun Olam
- J-Street
J Street organizes pro-Israel, pro-peace, pro-democracy Americans to promote US policies that embody deeply held Jewish and democratic values and that help secure the State of Israel as a democratic homeland for the Jewish people. Jstreet.org
Connecting Jewishly
Music of the Modzitzer Hasidim
The Modzitzer Hasidim are famous for their lively and moving melodies. I love using their tunes in my davening and have a few favorites for the holiday season. Check them out and sing along!
Modzitzer Ein Kitzva for High Holiday Musaf Kedusha as sung by Honorable Menschen:
The original recording of Ata Bachartanu by the Modzitzer Choral Ensemble:
Day Thirteen (September 19)
Working on Yourself
What Are You Grateful For?
It’s a Jewish value to be grateful. But it also matters what we are grateful for. As an example, let’s compare two moments of gratitude in the life of our Biblical ancestor, Jacob.
Jacob had to flee his native Canaan as a young man because after he deceived his father Isaac into giving him the preferred blessing, his brother Esau threatened to murder him. Jacob traveled to Haran, married four wives, had thirteen children and acquired much wealth in the form of cattle and gold and silver. Twenty years after he left Canaan, with God’s encouragement, he made the decision to return. But he was still worried about Esau. On the night before his re-union with Esau, he sent his family over the river and spent time alone with God. Here is what Jacob said:
O, God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O Lord who said to me ‘Return to your native land and I will deal bountifully with you,’ I am unworthy of all the kindness that You have so steadfastly shown your servant; with my staff alone I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two camps. Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; else, I fear he may come and strike me, mother and children.” (Genesis 32:11)
This was gratitude moment #1.
Here is gratitude moment #2. Many years later, when Jacob was close to the end of his life, he asked his son Joseph to bring Jacob’s two grandchildren Ephraim and Menashe to him so he could bless them. Jacob was now living in Egypt under Joseph’s protection. He had endured many years of believing that Joseph was dead, for when Joseph was age 17, Jacob’s other sons had come home with Joseph’s bloodied coat.
Now, in Egypt, Jacob had been reunited with Joseph, and at this moment in time, Jacob had been living with Joseph for another seventeen years, matching the original years before Joseph was kidnapped.
Jacob was an old man. He had achieved a lot in his life, but he had also endured a lot—the death of his beloved Rachel, exile from his homeland twice, a deceptive and manipulative father-in-law; children who’d hated each other, and the loss of his favorite child. Now, at the end of his life, he was reflecting on his years in another moment of gratitude. Here is what he said to Joseph before he blessed his grandchildren:
I never expected to see your face again, and here God has let me see your children as well. (Genesis 48:11)
Reflection
- What is the difference between these two moments of gratitude in Jacob’s life?
- How has Jacob’s perspective and his expectations of life changed from the time he was a young man?
- How do you think age and experience change what we are grateful for?
- Make a list of the things you are grateful for. Try to keep writing until you hit on things you might not have thought about in the beginning. If you can, include different categories of things you are grateful for.
- Do you think the nature of your gratitude has changed over the years? If so, how and why?
- How are the things you are grateful for reflective of your values?
- Can we learn to grow in the way that we are grateful?
Tzedakah/Tikkun Olam
Israel Advocacy: Washington State
- Washingtonians for a Brighter Future
Washingtonians for a Brighter Future (WBF) is the Political Action Committee (PAC) of the Jewish community and its allies in Washington State, dedicated to keeping the community safe. WBF’s goals: Support candidates for Washington state and local offices who support the interests of the Jewish community; oppose those who are hostile to the community’s interests; get out the vote when it matters.
Connecting Jewishly
Joey Weisenberg and Hadar Rising Song
Joey Weisenberg has gained acclaim for his beautiful settings of Jewish liturgy and his work with the Hadar Rising Song Institute. If you haven’t heard his music yet, you are in for a real treat. Here is his composition for Ya’aleh Koleinu from the Kol Nidre service;
Day Fourteen (September 20)
Working on Yourself/Shabbat #2
Make Yourself a Wilderness (Cultivate Your Curiosity)
God created the world by drawing boundaries around reality and giving each segment of reality a unique identity: light and dark, land and sea, animals and humans. For us to function in the world, it is essential that these boundaries and identities be stable. When we wake up in the morning, we can do more. be assured 99% of the time, that when we put our feet on the ground, it will be solid.
But sometimes our need for stability can prevent human growth. The caste system is an example of a society which is incredibly stable, but stultifying. So, Jewish practice makes it safe for us to regularly de-stabilize ourselves so that we can create a new, look at the world with fresh eyes and grow without fear that we will descend into chaos.
For example, the Rabbis taught that in order to truly grasp the meaning of the Torah, we must make ourselves like a midbar/a desert. A desert is a place with no boundaries. What the Rabbis meant that when we are reading the weekly parasha, the greatest obstacle to our learning is what we already know about the Biblical passage. If we want to learn something truly new, we have to look at these words as if we have never seen them before, without any pre-conceptions and with completely open curiosity.
This is also one of the primary goals of shabbat. During the week, we are designers. We design physical things and ideas by placing intentional boundaries around them. Explaining the meaning of an event is a kind of design. Once we’ve completed this design, we’re reluctant to waver from it.
Shabbat is a moment to open up the creative process again. We set aside our impulse to design, to name, to create stable identities and fixed boundaries, and we look at the world and everything in it as a child would, as if we had never seen it before.
Years ago, I (Rabbi Jay) was part of a meditation group that met in a synagogue just before shabbat started. Once, while we were all deeply ensconced in our meditation, a child just outside the room disturbed our peace by whining loudly and persistently. Sensing our annoyance, our teacher said to us calmly “Think of this noise as just sound.” She understood that what was irritating us was not the sound itself but the meaning we attached to it. We assumed this sound came from a spoiled child and we were angry at both the child and her mother for not controlling this behavior.
But that was only one possible meaning. What if the mom had had a terrible day? We might have set aside our anger at being disturbed and been empathetic. Shabbat is a day for looking at everything around us as ‘just sound.’ By suspending the meanings, we have attached to things, actions and people in the past, and viewing the world with pure curiosity, we open ourselves to the new.
Action
- Read the weekly Torah portion and try to look at it with fresh eyes. Imagine that you had never seen these words before. How does this experience open up new questions for you? How does this mental framework change your experience of the text?
- Think of a time when you changed your opinion of a person for the better over time. What changed?
- Choose a person you are close to and resolve to approach everything they do with genuine curiosity and no judgement for a single day. Resist any attempt to correct them, criticize them, judge them or improve them for 24 hours straight.
- Choose a person you know in the community and in your mind, examine your pre-conceptions about them. Challenge yourself to ask whether your assumptions are truly well founded. Make an attempt to get to know this person better and find out more about them. Approach them with a genuinely open mind. What did you learn that you didn’t know before? Does it change the way you look at them?
Tzedakah/Tikkun Olam
Building Bridges Across Difference
- Braver Angels
Braver Angels brings Americans together in honest and respectful dialogue to bridge the partisan divide and strengthen our democratic republic. Braver Angels envisions an America with respectful embrace of political disagreements, its goal is not to change people’s views of issues, but to change their views of each other. Braverangels.org. Herzl-Ner Tamid offers a monthly “Brave Conversation” among liberals, centrists and conservatives. For more information, contact Rabbi Rosenbaum at rabbirosenbaum@h-nt.org.
- Diaspora Dialogues Podcast
This podcast delves into themes of dual identity among Jewish Americans, Jewish communal relationships to Israel, and the necessity of nuanced conversations within the community. Episodes include discussions on the role of Diaspora Jews in political movements, the importance of inclusivity in Jewish spaces, and maintaining relationships amidst differing perspectives. Inthediaspora.com/podcast
- Jewish Community Relations Council
The Jewish Community Relations Council (JCRC) of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle leverages the strength and heart of Puget Sound’s diverse Jewish community to secure a vibrant Jewish future locally, in Israel, and around the world and to champion a just, democratic, and pluralistic society.
The JCRC’s core work includes: Combating antisemitism, bigotry, and racism; Supporting a peaceful, secure, Jewish, and democratic state of Israel; Fostering positive and meaningful relations with other communities and public officials; Strengthening our Jewish communities through building cohesion and civil discourse
- The Asian-Jewish Initiative in Seattle (ADL)
In 2022, nine Asian American and Jewish organizations joined together to launch an Asian Jewish Initiative in Seattle with the goals of building cross-community partnerships, deepening knowledge and education, advancing civil rights and social justice, and speaking out jointly to combat hate. The coalition brought together 60+ leaders from both communities for relationship building programs. Programs included panels on history, identity, and contemporary civil rights struggles and group conversations to build bridges. Future programming will include topics such as policy and advocacy, celebrating culture and identity, and cross-cultural programming with Asian and Jewish communities. For more information, contact adl.org.
Connecting Jewishly
The Legendary Moyshe Oysher
Bessarabian Cantor Moyshe Oysher became one of America’s most famous cantors and a widely popular performer during the 1940’s and 1950’s. His music showcased virtuosic vocal stylings backed by funky choral arrangements reflecting both his East European roots and the influence of American pop-music and Jazz. Here is his fabulous recording of Ki Hinei Kachomer (with unmistakably dated narration):
Cantor Moshe Oysher – Ki Henai Kachomer – YouTube
And here is a recording of the same piece by one of the great hazzanim of our day, Cantor Yanky Lemmer: https://youtu.be/6XXQRXho8QM?feature=shared